What happens When a Man Is Sexually Molested?
Posted: Friday, March 09, 2007
by Peggy Butler
PSB COMMUNICATIONS
When a man is sexually assaulted, he is ridiculed and his manhood questioned. Why? And what can society do to change this barbaric behavior?
by Peggy Butler
The security guard lay sobbing on the floor, his biceps heaving neurotically beneath his shirt, as torn fragments from his trousers litter the carpet. Nearby, sat the manager, cigarette in hand, and smiling as though he didn’t have a care in the world. At first glance, this looks like an airtight case of sexual assault. But, this scenario is more complex than it appears. This is really about sexual assault gone awry, with two men undergoing the victim, perpetrator roles instead of the traditional male to female contact. And so it begins.
Following the attack, the security guard horrified by the chain of events, gathers up his clothes and staggers home. Once inside the door, he takes a shower and tries to figure out what his next step should be.
Stunned by what has taken place, his hand reaches for the phone. As he dials the number of his best friend, a lawyer he has known since grade school, he stops. Thinking aloud he says, “What will be his reaction if I tell him I was raped?" Will he laugh? Question my manhood? Harass me for letting another man assault me? Or will he simply think I’m lying." And what about going to the police, could he honestly convince a group of macho officers he was raped? Moreover, would they be sympathetic and take down the information as they would if he were a woman, or would they cast a questionable glance in his direction that says “Are you serious?"
The victim under the belief that any red blooded American male over 18 who lets himself be sexually assaulted is less of a man, tentatively puts down the phone, and decides to keep the details of the rape to himself. Two days later he commits suicide. Sadly, the cause of suicide was known only to him and his attacker.
Traditionally, this is not a topic that columnists like to write about. But based on the fact that 92,748 men are raped each year in the U.S., I thought it was important to present sexual assault where the man is the victim as well as the perpetrator.
As we observed in the opening scenario, when a man is raped they have difficulty getting anyone to believe them. According to sex researchers, there have been hundreds of reports of males being raped by other males, but unless the victim is under 17, society has a tendency to look the other way. Hence, sodomy is hard to prove, especially if you’re a 42-year-old body builder with bulging biceps that would make Arnold Schwarzenegger turn green with envy.
Help to the Rescue
According to experts the most troubling aspect of rape involving men, is that not only must the victim live with the memory of the ordeal, but they typically deal with the pain and humiliation by themselves.
So what can we do to change this behavior? First, we must educate ourselves by recognizing that thousands of men are raped annually. Secondly, we must alleviate the stigma associated with male rape. Remember, rape is rape regardless of the victim’s gender. And lastly, society should develop a sensitive more compassionate attitude toward such men instead of criticizing and raising their eyebrows in disbelief.
Generally men are portrayed as the stronger sex; however, it is unfortunate that a crime as heinous as rape, involves a double standard that continues to perpetuate, as we continue to look the other way. This is intolerance, American style. Hence, let us alleviate such thinking here and now.
Facts:
*One out of every eight men will be sexually assaulted by another male during his lifetime.
* 92,748 men are raped each year in the U.S.
*In 2002, over 31,000 males over the age of 12 reported being the victim of rape or sexual assault.
Source: U.S. Department of Justice
Links of Interest:
http://www.aest.org.uk/survivors/male/myths_about_male_rape.htm
http://www.nycagainstrape.org/survivors_factsheet_38.html
http://www.hopeforhealing.org/male.html
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