The N -Word in Black and White!
Posted: Wednesday, February 21, 2007
by Peggy Butler
PSB COMMUNICATIONS
Why would anyone of any race, including Blacks, utter a word that has brought pain and humiliation to millions of African-Americans?
A Black writer talks candidly about the N-word. WARNING: If you freak out at the sound of all things controversial, reading this article could seriously damage your analytical expertise.
This observation came to life three weeks ago, while having lunch at a local fast food restaurant that shall remain anonymous. As I recall, I was enjoying a delicious salad, when I overheard a conversation between two Black females who appeared to be in their late 30s. They were talking about who was more attractive, Will Smith or Denzel Washington. One woman said that Will was so good looking it hurt. To which her friend nonchalantly mumbled "Ni..er Please," as they burst into laughter and gave each other high fives.
Listening to their conversation, I couldn't help but wonder what would have occurred, if a person of European origin had uttered the N- word. No doubt, harsh words would have been exchanged, blows thrown and a few nerves rattled. Case in point: Comedian Michael Richards’ racist tirade against two Black men who allegedly heckled him during his act at a Los Angeles comedy club. Can anyone say trouble with a triple T?
For years, society has pondered the age old question of why it is perfectly acceptable for African-Americans to call each other Ni..er, but unacceptable for Caucasians to call, or even think of calling us that derogative term, detested by Blacks of all cultures and socioeconomic status.
Blacks contend that the reason it is perfectly harmless for them to call each other Ni..er, is because it is said in a playful gesture, as opposed to the sadistic tone conveyed by non-Blacks. And while Blacks maintain that calling each other the N - word is perfectly natural, there are millions who vehemently disagree. They maintain Blacks should have enough love and respect for each other to stay as far away from the word as possible.
A glaring example of this controversy took place in 2005, when researchers at The Galvanic Institute of Sociology interviewed 400 men and 600 women, ages 16 to 80, to determine their thoughts regarding the N word. When asked if they would be offended if they were called Ni..er by another African-American, 86% of the respondents said no, with 14% saying they would be offended. However, when asked if they would be offended if a White person did the same thing, a whopping 98% said they would respond negatively. Surprisingly, 2% said that being called a Ni..er by Whites had no effect on their morale or self-confidence.
The poll further noted that college educated Blacks found the term less offensive than Blacks with 11 years or less of education. Experts contend, the former represents those African-Americans who view themselves as color- blind and are oblivious of bigotry. Theoretically, they fall under the same category as others who adhere to this bogus concept, like conservative columnist Armstrong Williams and Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. Ah, isn't denial awesome?
And speaking of negative words, it has been noted with much dismay, that if you want to make a timid individual or religious fanatic angry, have a person of European origin, walk up to them and shout "Hey Ni..er." They argue the shy introvert will raise enough hell to wake the dead, and the bible-toting-Jesus-spouting-holier-than thou church goer will "lay a cursing" on you that will leave you speechless.
Ni..er Please. How many times have you said that to your spouse, friends, co-workers, even your children? And when you said it, did you stop and think why you said it? For one moment did you think about the hurt and embarrassment this word has brought to millions of African-Americans? Moreover, how you would feel if the person calling you that dreaded word was White, instead of Black?
To reiterate, it's ironic, isn't it? We laugh when calling each other Ni..er, but clinch our teeth and bring out the fangs when called that by Caucasians. Is there really a difference? Or do we feel less vulnerable when we are put down by each other, instead of those other folks?
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Top-level comments on this article: (7 total)Peggy, I believe it was a year ago I was at Wal-Mart doing some shopping when a young black man and women came along side of me an accidentally hit my shopping cart. The man looked at the girl and said “Oh you ni.. driver” then they both looked at me and laughed. But the way they looked at me, I’ll never forget those smiles. Why did they do that?Hi David: It pains me to say this, but to the average African-American under 25, th N-word is just that, a word. Moreover, they think the word is hip, and simply don't care about its historical origin. But for me, a baby boomer, it is a term that evokes hurt, anger and pain; and there is nothing funny about that. As for the young couple, all I can say is, "IGORANCE IS BLISS." By the way, I love your articles.
What a superbly written article to address the ignorance of many and the feelings of others about use of the N-word. Those who use it operate at the infantile level of personality development. I wish for them to grow up and with haste! I enjoyed this article very much! Thank you for telling it like it is in black and white about the use of 'that' word.Avis: I absolutely love the way you express yourself. Moreover, I agree with everything you said, especially the quote" Those who use it (the N-word) oprate at the infantile level of personality development." Truer words were never spoken. As for you, I am humbled to receive comments from an exceptional writer and a equally exceptional orthodontic expert. God bless!
Yes it was an excellent article. I for one do not like any names and there are so many on could write a book on the topic. The use of curse words, slang or any other form of communications that separates one from everyone else in a society is in my opinion racism in reverse. I think Political Correctness is another tool people use to separate. When people of all races, colors, creeds develop character, morals, honesty, integrity and love of neighbor then perhaps we will be on our way to peace. Unfortunately, the word of this century when we allow any kind of negative statement in word, sign or symbol we are, regardless of what we profess, promoting separation. Words are just one aspect of it but dress, music and expression are all aspects which send a message of ones heritige, culture and value. To those who think it is not harmful I say spend a few days in any school other then where your children go and if you condone what you experience then there is nothing else to say. I offer Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith as a living examples of a mans, man! Notice I did not say black man, but man! In my opinion we all can accept this type of person. When we reach for the truth the test is to acknowledge it and not make excuses but change it if it is wrong regardless of who it is. Just look at what this low keyed, peaceful man has acomplished and how many lives he has changed. Good work!Hi: I couldn't have said it any better. I especially agree with you that Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith, are living examples of a man's man, who just happen to be African-Americans. During the week leading up to the Super Bowl between the Colts and Bears, all I heard was that Dungy and Smith are the first Black coaches to play in this annual ritual. Hence, I know it won't happen in your life time or mine, but I hope the day comes when we just recognize each other as simply people.
Your article explains exactly how i feel when i hear this word. It's a daily thing especially in the music it seems like one is forced to hear it all the time. I just wish this generation would realize the importance of respecting one another by not using this word at all. It should not be hip, cool, etc. I just wish it would stop. Thank you for such a serious viewpoint on something so important.Hi: Like you, I too cringe when I hear young people use the N-word. And what's even sadder, is the fact that they believe it's a term of endearment, for whom? Unfortunately we have to blame he tBlack community and to a lesser extent, rap music for this travesty. On a daily basis, young Black kids hear the words being spoken by Blacks to Blacks, so they think it's okay. But it's not, and I feel that the use of the word should be abolished with all deliberate speed.
Hi Peggy! As a 62 year old white guy who was brought up in a family where the use of that word was not permitted as my family considered it to be degrading and insulting even as we lived in the South of the 50's; and as someone who has tried valiantly to keep up with, if not political correctness, then at least common courtesy and civility in speech and action, I have to thank you and commend you on your article. I have close friends who are black who occasionally use the word among themselves, and, even though we talk comfortably among ourselves about differences in attitudes between races and within society, there is still that point that they say among themselves what I cannot say, and would never want to say, to them. Even worse, were I to say it, I would be shunned for having had the temerity to say it. Our society has had, and will continue to have, difficulty adjusting to changes which have occurred in the last few decades, not the least of which has been in the area of civil rights. So many people, black and white, have worked so hard to create the world that Dr. King foresaw where people of every race worked side-by-side in peace and understanding, that it seems almost tragic for words such as this to still have the power to create division. I am sure that many who use the word, such as my friends, place no great social weight upon it. In many ways, it is not that much different from the profoundly profane remarks exchanged by two "real men" who run into each other after a long time of no contact. Having spent 21 years in the military, and having grown up in a Navy town, there isn't too much in the way of expletives UN-deleted which can shock me...or that I haven't used myself. However, I have discovered an interesting fact in the last few years...I usually don't need such words. I imagine that most people could get along without such language to one another as well. My son-in-law, who is a great guy, has, together with my daughter, provided me a beautiful baby boy (now 9 months old) for a grandson. My wife, myself, our son-in-law and our daughter all hope that he will enter the world prepared to accept all according to their merits. We also hope that he will, at the very least, do onto others as he would have others do unto him. We hope that he will succeed and prosper and be a blessing to the world. We know that his way will be difficult at times because his father, my son-in-law, is black, and his mother is white. We hope that he will never be asked to prove himself as (fill in the blank) man, but will always be willing and able to prove himself as a man who earns respect for all parts of himself...race(s) included. Again, thanks for the article. It was great to read your viewpoint.Hi Donovan: As I read your comments, I found my head bobbing up and down in agreement with each paragraph. Admitedly, I have to say that when I was in my 20s, I used the word among friends and relatives, without giving any thought to its moral conotations. Now, I refuse to say it, no matter how much anyone gets on my last nerve. I noted that you said your grandson was biracial; hence, it is your wish that he does not have to deal with racial issues, and luckily he won't. God bless!
Dear Ms. Butler; Had I been with those two women, I would have laughed as well. Odd as it may seem to you and others, the term was used to denote a sense of comraderie or kinship...I have heard the same term come out of the mouths of black folks, spoken with its original intent...to malign and assasinate the spirit. I ain't no college grad, but I know the difference. That politically correct term, "THE 'N' WORD", (I detest "IT", as much as y'all detest the original word), came into play, if I'm not mistaken, during the OJ Simpson trial. Since then, everytime I hear that term being used, I feel as though we've all been taught some new gospel, that if not strictly adhered to, will result in dire consequences. No, I ain't a fan of white folks using the term. Even if they could speak it with the tongues of angels, it would always come to these ears as it was originally intended...Also, I do not share the same sense of kinship or comraderie with them, that I feel with my own...but I have come to a point in my life where I don't react to white folks, (to react... that its true purpose, ain't it?), the way I once did, any more than I break into a sweat when I hear some rapper use the term bi#ches and ho's to refer to women...it ain't about me!Nisha Girl , aka ( Dear Ms. Vegas) After reading your comments, all that's left to say is, BRAVO! Not only did you bring home the pivotal point of the article, you did it with articulation, followed by a pinch of home-girl personification. When I receive comments of this nature, I generally keep the response short, so the remarks will stand out more. Yes, your comments have made my day, more than you will ever know. And on that note, I say, Best Wishes Ms. Nisha, and keep on commenting, because you do it with sass, style and class.
Thank you for this article. I have been asking the same question for years now. I even asked it at an Army Q&A function (non formal) and was treated like a racist. I really like your take on things. Good luck and keep it up.
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